How To Make The Most of Your Therapy Sessions
No matter how skilled, knowledgeable, or interactive your therapist might be, progress in therapy doesn’t just happen on its own. And, though your therapist likely contributes to your progress, they aren’t the ones who make it happen — you are. Essentially, you can’t expect to sit in session for roughly 50 minutes per week, talk things through, and magically see results. Change takes time, intention, reflection, and hard work. Realistically, you’re likely investing a fair amount of resources into your therapy sessions, and most people don’t want to waste their time in a weekly appointment that doesn’t really feel like it’s getting them anywhere.
So, how do you make sure that you’re getting your return on investment from therapy? There are endless ways to make sure that you’re making the most of your time with your therapist, but below, I’ve broken down a few of the things that I find to be most effective.
Come to your session prepared. If you’ve ever arrived for your therapy session with no idea what to talk about, you’re not alone - we’ve all been there. Sometimes we draw a blank as soon as we sit down, and can’t remember what we were hoping to discuss that week. Other times, we sit down and find that the things that were bothering us in between sessions don’t feel like that big of a deal now, so we don’t bring them up now that the dust has settled. This happens to everyone from time to time, and most therapists are going to be able to provide some guidance and structure to the sessions to make sure that you’re continuing to work towards your goals in session, even on those weeks when you show up and feel like you have no idea what you want to talk about.
However, when this becomes a pattern, you may find that it stalls your progress in therapy. This is where some preparation can make a world of a difference. Spend some time reflecting the day before/day of your session. Depending on what you’re working on, this may mean reflecting on your week and trying to recognize what caused you distress. Sometimes it can seem silly to talk these things through in therapy, but often, it can help you and your therapist to identify themes around what’s contributing to your struggles, which can lead to a clearer path forward and increased self-awareness. For others, reflecting before session may mean thinking back to the previous session and noticing any changes that are or aren’t taking place in between appointments.
Regardless of what reflection looks like for you, the intention here would be to get a stronger sense of what you hope to discuss with your therapist in the upcoming session. Having a clear idea of how you want to spend your time will typically result in a session that feels more helpful. Even if your therapist is able to jump in and lead the session and guide you on the weeks that you’re unsure of what to talk about, keep in mind that your therapist is no mind reader, and they aren’t always going to know what topic(s) feel important for you to address.
Give your therapist feedback. This is not to add more work to your plate and suggest that you need to tell your therapist how to do their job. Your therapist is trained to use their clinical judgment to guide treatment goals and provide interventions in a way that will be beneficial, supportive, and clinically appropriate. That said, everyone needs something different in therapy, and different people are going to respond differently to various interventions. While it sounds cliché to say, there is truly no “one size fits all” approach. It’s also important to keep in mind that your therapist isn’t a mind reader, so while they will be using their best judgment, they don’t know with certainty what feels important for you to be discussing from one week to the next, or what approaches/strategies are feeling helpful to you vs. what ones are landing a miss.
With all that in mind, it’s completely okay (and encouraged!) to let your therapist know if there’s something specific you want to dive into at the start of your session. It’s also encouraged to let them know when the broader themes/goals that you want to address shift, or when you feel you’re making good progress or reaching a standstill. When your therapist clearly knows what you want to discuss and what is feeling helpful to you, they can be more effective in supporting you through the course of your therapy.
Don’t let the work stop as soon as you leave your therapist’s office. Making progress in therapy typically means making efforts outside of session. This is going to look different for everybody. Sometimes, this means actually practicing the coping skills and strategies that your therapist teaches you, or making some changes to how you communicate with your friend/partner/parent after building additional insight in therapy. Other times, this may mean taking more time to reflect on your emotions so that you can build insights into your patterns and further explore this in session. If you aren’t sure how to be continuing your therapeutic work outside of session, ask your therapist what they would recommend.
Be honest. It can be common for clients to want to sugarcoat things in therapy, or sometimes to even give the illusion of progress that isn’t truly taking place. If you’ve found yourself doing this, you’re not alone. Many people do this because they don’t want to be judged by their therapist, because they don’t want their therapist to be disappointed in them, or because it feels hard to confront the reality of what’s going on. However, this actually works against you in therapy, as your therapist can’t support you effectively if they don’t have a clear understanding of what’s happening. Remember that your therapist is not there to judge you, and if you do feel judged, you can always bring that up to your therapist! Alternatively, this may indicate that it’s not the right fit, and it’s okay to seek a new therapist if you don’t feel comfortable with the one you’re currently seeing.
As mentioned previously, there are so many ways to make sure that you’re getting the most out of your therapy sessions, but these are a few of the factors that I find the most important with the clients I work with. I hope that this helps you in getting a bit more from your sessions so that your time and energy is worthwhile!
Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for information purposes only. Reading this blog post is not a substitute for therapy or any form of mental or physical health care.
