Should I Go To Therapy? How to Know if it’s Right For You
If you’ve ever contemplated going to therapy, but struggled to take the first step or found reasons to talk yourself out of it, you’re not alone. Starting therapy can be anxiety provoking in and of itself, and it can be hard to know if therapy is going to be helpful, needed, or worthwhile. Many people worry that their problems aren’t “big enough” or “serious enough” for therapy, and automatically minimize their struggles and take themselves out of the therapy game before it even starts. For others, the idea of starting therapy can feel incredibly daunting — the idea of letting a stranger into the most private details of your life is not going to feel comfortable for everyone (understandably so).
On top of that, the financial commitment and time commitment can be very real deterrents, especially for individuals who are on the fence or who are not sure how/if they would benefit from therapy. The truth is that there are dozens of reasons to not go to therapy, and many of them might be valid. At the same time, many may come from a place of avoidance, essentially providing justification to the decision not to go and address hard things. With that in mind, I want to note that I don’t subscribe to the popular ideology that “everyone should go to therapy.” I believe that there are many avenues that promote healing, growth, and reflection; that therapy is just one of them; and that, while therapy is wildly helpful for many, it is not the right fit for every person (and that’s okay!).
But, if you are considering therapy, there are a few key things that I think are important to note. First, your struggles are valid and worthy of therapy no matter what — your life does not need to be hanging from a thread in order for your problems to be worthy of therapy. Secondly, you do not need to have a diagnosable mental health disorder in order to benefit from therapy. All that said, if your life is hanging from a thread, or if you do have a mental health disorder, that’s okay too! Similarly, that does not mean your struggles are “too big” for therapy.
Now that we’ve cleared up a couple of those common misconceptions, here are some common reasons why a person might decide it’s time to give therapy a try:
You’re going through life changes and transitions. Therapy can be invaluable when it comes to helping you process the emotions you’re experiencing as it relates to change, while also processing possible grief (of earlier life stages), fear, anxiety, and stress. You may not know how to navigate the next chapter, and while your therapist likely won’t tell you what to do, they may help you to find your own ways of moving forward.
You’ve experienced something disturbing, upsetting, or traumatic. Trauma can actually impact the brain and how it functions, so if you aren’t feeling like yourself after going through a trauma, there are valid reasons why. Trauma can come in many different forms, but some common things that can be traumatic are abusive relationships, natural disasters, accidents, divorce, sexual assault, childhood abuse and neglect, and more. It’s also important to note that everyone is impacted by these types of events in different ways, so while one person may not experience trauma, another could be heavily impacted. Regardless of your response, therapy can be a safe place to process your experiences, better understand how they’ve impacted you, and begin figuring out how you can move forward.
You want to better understand and better manage mental illness. Navigating mental health challenges can be hard and the waters can feel murky. Therapy with a professional who specializes in your diagnosis can help you to better understand your symptoms, how they impact you, and how you can manage them more effectively and lessen their impacts.
You’re grieving. Grief is traditionally thought of in reference to the loss of a person, however, we can also grieve careers, relationships, our health, earlier life stages, and people who are still living, but who are no longer present in our lives.
You’re struggling in your relationships. Relationship challenges can be so hard. There are endless reasons why relationship struggles might exist, and therapy can help you to build greater insight into what’s taking place in your relationship(s), your emotional responses, your needs and wants, and any possible patterns that you may be repeating in relationships.
You’re struggling with your sense of self, your confidence, and your self-esteem. Again, there are so many possible contributing factors that could impact one’s self-esteem and how they view themselves. Therapy can help to pull back the curtains and build insights into why these struggles exist, how they impact relationships, school/work, and everyday choices, and how to begin to build a stronger sense of self.
You want unbiased, confidential support from someone who isn’t a friend or family member. Maybe you don’t know exactly what you need from therapy, but you know that you’re not getting the support you need from the people in your life. Therapy is different from personal relationships for many, many reasons, but one of the primary differences is that the focus is entirely on you and what you need, whereas personal relationships have an element of mutuality that does not exist in the therapeutic relationship. Therapy is a place where another person is able to provide you with attentive, caring, unbiased support, without you having to worry about their needs, if you’re burdening them, or if you’re overwhelming them.
While this list is non-exhaustive, I hope it gives you a bit more clarity as to whether or not therapy could be the right fit for you. It’s also worth noting that if you try it and don’t find it helpful, there is no obligation to continue! With that in mind, it could be worth a shot, and could end up being a positive and life-changing experience.
Disclaimer: This post is for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for individual therapy or any other form of mental health treatment.
