Is it Becoming Trendy to Say You Have Trauma?
Content relating to mental health is arguably more available and accessible than it ever has been in the past, thanks (in large part) to the normalization and destigmatization of mental health issues, as well as the role that social media plays in this. Social media can be both harmful and helpful when it comes to mental health-related issues and topics, and when free legitimate, factual information is available to a wide range of people, it can help people to feel less alone in their experiences, to (sometimes) better understand their experiences, and to learn some tools or skills for coping. However, with such widespread mental health-related content on apps such as Instagram and TikTok, we can also start to see that certain issues, diagnoses, or experiences become, well, almost trendy.
One observation that some social media users may have is that, amongst mental health posts on TikTok and Instagram, “trauma” becomes a blanket explanation for almost any difficult experience, tough emotion, or area for potential personal growth. These posts/videos will often start with something like, “Do you tend to [over-explain yourself/avoid conflict/feel insecure]? Well, that’s probably a trauma response.” Or, “If your [feelings weren’t validated as a child/you struggled academically/you didn’t fit in with your peers], you might have unresolved trauma.” The fact of the matter is that, as Seerut Chawla puts it, “No single behavior in isolation means you have trauma.” Similarly, there may have been experiences or dynamics from your childhood that were difficult, but this also does not automatically mean that they experience was traumatic. And while people-pleasing, for example can be a trauma response, it is not always a trauma response. Again, invalidation, for example, can be traumatic if it is done in a manner that is emotionally abusive, but it isn’t always traumatic. Bottom line: just because something was hard, doesn’t automatically make it traumatic; and just because something wasn’t traumatic, doesn’t mean it wasn’t a legitimately hard experience.
Some savvy social media users have taken note of this trend, and have started to create satirical posts and videos in which they jokingly refer to even the most mundane behaviors or personality traits as a “trauma response.” While these posts are clearly meant to acknowledge the absurdity of how broadly and (sometimes) inaccurately the terms “trauma” and trauma response” are applied, the reality is that the type of content that is problematic isn’t actually always easy to catch. Well-intended content that is meant to inform people about trauma, or help them understand their present and past experiences, can often be misleading, overgeneralizing, and inaccurate. The result often leaves people combing through their pasts and mislabeling experiences as trauma, or current behaviors as trauma responses, when they may be very normal human experiences (note: just because something is normal, doesn’t automatically mean it’s okay or easy).
So, why is this problematic? First and foremost, it completely bypasses a key piece of information about trauma, which is that it impacts people differently. When social media posts suggest that a certain event is always traumatic, this is inaccurate. Two people can experience the same event, and one may experience trauma, but the other may not. Trauma is the long-lasting emotional response that follows a disturbing or unsafe event/situation. Some individuals may be more prone to experiencing a traumatic experience than others, which is due to various protective factors or risk factors. All that said, it is inaccurate to suggest that any experience is always going to be traumatic, even if it may be traumatic for some of the people who experience it.
This also misrepresents the actual meaning of a trauma response. There is a difference habitual behavior/learned behavior/conditioned behavior and a trauma response. A trauma response is when your brain misperceives a situation and believes that there is a threat to safety (emotionally, physically, or otherwise). For more information about trauma responses and the impact trauma has on the brain, head over to my post, “How Trauma Impacts the Brain & 4 Ways to Cope with PTSD.” So, to continue with the previously mentioned example of people-pleasing behavior: this could be an example of a trauma response, if, for example, and individual had learned that catering to the needs of others kept them safe (as might be the case in an abusive relationship). At the same time, people-pleasing behavior can stem from many different places, and it is not always a trauma response.
Secondly, this blanket use of the terms trauma and trauma response increases tendencies to pathologize behavior that may actually be normal, or that may be a very appropriate reaction to a hard circumstance. This may leave people unclear about their own experiences, or may increase angst and worry around present behaviors or past experiences in a manner that isn’t productive or helpful. Additionally, this phenomenon of calling everything “trauma” can actually be terribly invalidating and minimizing to people who have experienced PTSD or actual traumatic stress.
Actual symptoms of PTSD typically include flashbacks to the traumatic event, nightmares, hypervigilance, anxiety, irritability, trouble concentrating, trouble sleeping, and sometimes self-destructive behaviors. Many people also experience symptoms of anxiety or depression, difficulty in relationships, self-blame and shame, and an unstable sense of self. Complex PTSD may present slightly differently, as complex PTSD is typically a post-traumatic stress reaction to long-standing, chronic trauma (e.g. longstanding abuse, neglect, etc.) , rather than an isolated event.
In conclusion, I want to refer back to an earlier statement: just because something was hard, doesn’t automatically make it traumatic; and just because something wasn’t traumatic, doesn’t mean it wasn’t a legitimately hard experience. It’s not up to anyone else to dictate what was and was not traumatic for you, and again, different people often respond differently to the same types of situations. If, after learning about what trauma is and what a trauma response is, you feel that your experiences were traumatic, I have no intention of telling you otherwise (and no right to tell you otherwise - they are your experiences, and only you truly know how they’ve effected you). If your experiences do not classify as trauma, or didn’t result in PTSD, it can still be 100% valid that they may have been challenging, impactful, and that they may stay with you in different ways. When we stop overusing mental health terminology and instead use it with accuracy, thought, and intention, we are able to better understand ourselves and others, without misdiagnosing or pathologizing.
Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for information purposes only. Reading this blog post is not a substitute for therapy or any form of mental or physical health care. Please consult a mental health professional if you are struggling with PTSD or trauma symptoms.
